DOGGONE

If you want to express absolute frustration, pure amazement, or absolute certainty without running afoul of the church choir or grandma’s swear jar, this is one word that has served the South faithfully for generations.

The beauty of doggone is its sheer flexibility. It can be a complaint ("Get your doggone boots off my clean rug"), an exclamation of awe ("Well, ain't that a doggone miracle!"), or a badge of absolute truth ("I'll be doggone if that isn't the best cobbler I've ever eaten"). It packs all the emotional punch of a curse word but remains entirely safe for Sunday dinner.

A Little Southern Humor

A traveler from Chicago is driving through rural Tennessee when his car breaks down right in front of a small farmhouse. He gets out, pops the hood, and starts tinkering with the engine, getting absolutely nowhere. The old farmer living there walks down to the edge of the driveway, leans against the fence post, and watches the yankee struggle for a few minutes.

Finally, the farmer shakes his head and says, "Son, I'll be doggone if your alternator ain't completely shot." The traveler wipes the grease off his hands and looks up, highly annoyed. "Look, mister, I don't care about your missing dog! I just want to know if there's a mechanic nearby!"